Can I Be Real With You For A Second?

Can I be real with you for a second?

With social media and emails, it’s really easy to make our lives look good.

And trust me, I get that my life is pretty damn amazing.

But here’s the part you don’t see on social media…

The last couple of weeks have been a major struggle.

I don’t mean just a struggle of what should I post or what should I talk about?

But a full blown attempt of my depression returning.

We often talk about how we create our reality and how when we take control of our lives, we can achieve our dreams.

And this is still true.

But what sometimes doesn’t get talked about enough is that it’s not always easy.

About the fact that we have to make the choice EVERY SINGLE DAY when we wake up to do what we need to do for ourselves and our dreams, instead of letting ourselves get sucked back into survival mode (in my case, I get sucked into netflix movies or smutty romances).

These last few weeks have been hard.

I know it won’t last forever (I didn’t used to know that, that’s a sign of progress too!) but that doesn’t minimize the hard now.

And it’s bittersweet. Because I know that the reason that things are hard right now is because my nervous system is freaking out.

I am in the process of making some huge changes in my life. Closer to achieving a major goal. And my nervous system doesn’t want me to succeed.

Not because it’s out to sabotage me, but because it wants me to stay exactly where I’ve been instead of moving forward into new territory. Where I am is known and safe, right? There’s not any sabertooth tigers.

So it’s raising all the things. The depression is trying to come back. I’ve been having panic attacks about the things that we’re decluttering (things which logically mean nothing to me but my nervous system wants me to hold onto everything that’s familiar). And I’ve had dream after dream of making this move and being miserable.

As recently as a couple of years ago, I would have taken this as a sign that I needed to give up. A sign that it wasn’t meant to be.

I’m grateful that now I can recognize it for what it is… my nervous system is trying to keep me safe by keeping me in the known, in the comfort zone, exactly where I’ve been.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s easy. It’s still hard to be faced with all the things, even if I understand where they’re coming from.

So every day, I have to make the choice to get up and be intentional about my day, to make the choices that move me forward instead of letting myself get sucked back into the familiar like I did for so many years. 

And as such, I keep moving forward. One step at a time, one day at a time, progress is made.

The journey isn’t always easy. But it’s worth it. 

I share this with you today because I think it’s important to be real. To help you also realize that there are going to be setbacks. There are going to be times when putting one foot in front of the other is tough.

But you can get through it. And it’s worth it.

You are worth it.